7-9-09

My new dirty, four letter word that starts with F is FREE

I love free swag as much and maybe even more than the next guy. I was trained well.
I grew up watching my old man go out of his way to acquire free items. If he heard that you could get free blood from a rock he would walk away with a full pint.
Sam’s Club is the mecca for free samples. My dad and I would go there on a Saturday and walk the aisles. We would visit all of the ladies at the end of each aisle and snack on the free samples they were handing out. The two of us ate everything from shrimp, crackers, trail mix, tuna fish... you name it, we ate it.
The one thing that I quickly started to see is that free comes with a caveat. Free tends to cost you money.
When we would leave Sam’s Club, there was normally a cart full of items that we never really needed. The free food turned into about $150 worth of junk.
Once, when I was in high school, a friend of mine gave me a stereo receiver that he couldn’t get to work. First of all, I am a stereo junkie, second, I am a “free” junkie.
I took the thing apart and checked connections. I couldn’t do anything to get it to work, so I took it to Circuit City. Eighty dollars later it was working.
Now, I can justify the $80 by saying that I saved because the stereo would have cost me about $250 brand new.
My uncle Al made a comment once about lottery tickets that has always stuck with me. When asked if he played the lottery he said, “No. I don’t. I save a dollar every day that I don’t play.”
Such wisdom. It holds true to taking free stuff. If I didn’t take the free items, I would save my money. This pearl didn’t seem to stick for me in this scenario.
Recently a new friend of mine offered me an old pick-up that was junking up his back yard. I am in need of an old truck for the dump and utilitarian needs around the house and ponds.
This nineteen seventy-something Dodge with a police Interceptor engine (that is a real big engine) has the cab redone and runs decent. Buuuut it needs body work, needs to pass inspection, needs insurance, and a new battery and some fresh wiring.
So, once again, here I stand at the proverbial crossroads. Do I take the gift or save my money.
I can’t wait to mash the gas on that old truck!
Something I never gave much thought about in this arena is children. Technically, they are free but, man, do they come with a price tag!
First you have to pay to bring them safely into the world. Diapers, clothing and toys follow. Add in a little bit of day care, school pictures and snack money.
You would think that as they got older that maybe they would get cheaper to maintain. Wrong. They break more stuff. Now you are maintaining children and broken toys.
One thing I have found out is that children like to play with stereo equipment. They also like to pull the knobs off of free stereo equipment.
My old trusty free stereo might end up costing me some more money in new repairs but as long as it doesn’t go over $250, I am still saving, right? Maybe I’ll even save enough to afford a free truck.
Bryan Pinkey can be reached at bpinkey@nccox.com and an archive at jbryanpinkey.blogspot.com.